As you all know my son is getting to the age where everything is there for him to play with and touch, and yes, he wants everything to be named. Now when I was growing up we were always bought up using pet names for our intimate parts, but these days it seems that the trend is to teach your children, from an early age, the correct terminology.
Although I do accept the logic for this, I can just imagine the sheer embarrassment of being in a shopping center and my son saying something to the floor attendant along the lines of "Boys have penises and girls have Vagina's" (Kindergarten cop ring a bell to any of you?), I don’t think I could deal with the shear mortification!.
Having only a son, we are teaching him that he has a winky and a butt, but I am at a loss of what to teach him about my intimate parts, and I know the questions are just around the corner. Alas, the things we have to deal with as parents.
I think the mother of little girls have it a lot easier, we naturally pass on the common sense that our mothers raised us on – the main aspect being if we want to get Prince Charming we have to behave with grace and charm and decorum. However, all good and well for the raising of little girls, how does one convey the "correct" upbringing to little boys whose sole aim in life when they reach manhood is to - fart, burp, scratch their butts, watch TV and have tons of nookie. We have to measure up to anorexic cover girls while they want to be just like their hero "Al Bundy" with his hand constantly down his pants!
I am beginning to think that my son believes in the winky thief. Why else would he already start touching "down there"? Now days when he does, I casually say to him that the winky thief is on strike and that he can leave his alone because no one is going to steal it. I have thought of a few other theories, but none seem to make sense. I think little boys are born believing not only in Father Christmas, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy, they also have the winky thief. However unlike their belief's in Santa and company, their fear of the winky thief never truly subsides and they carry on "checking" the goods until well into their geriatrics, when no winky thief in his right mind would still want it!!
I have come to the conclusion that Men are defiantly from Mars and Woman from Venus and the greatest test for any mother is not only trying to raise the child she bore but, if they are of the opposite sex, trying to understand them as well!