Problem Solving Techniques for

 children from age 2-8

It is in the very early years that children develop their coping skills for how they handle conflict: fighting back, running away from the conflict, or problem-solving a win-win solution. For centuries adults handled conflicts with young children by telling them what not to do. Sometimes these words were reinforced with punishments to increase compliance. This was a negative process for both children and adults, often ending in revenge. Fortunately, in this century more positive methods have evolved, culminating in problem-solving. In the adult world this process is called "conflict resolution."

As young children gain their social skills, conflicts occur on a regular basis and can create unpleasant power struggles. Through the technique of problem-solving, frustrated children are guided to appropriately verbalize their feelings and desires. "How do I feel? What do I want?" With proper guidance children recognize they have choices and can find an acceptable way to achieve their desires. "I can play with something else. I can wait for a turn. I can eat the cookie at a different time." Arguments can be turned into successful partnerships ending in win-win solutions. With practice children as young as three can become adept in problem-solving. They are empowered with responsibility and learn to cooperate while using both their listening and their verbalizing communication skills. Aggressive children are aided in learning appropriate strategies to get what they want, while timid children gain skills in asserting themselves.

The Problem Solving Method

Although various writers describe the problem-solving method in their own style, there are six basic steps to the process. Sometimes these steps flow into each other, and sometimes the information given covers more than one step at a time. Nevertheless, all six steps are part of the process.

• Step 1. Initiate mediation: begin problem-solving
• Step 2. Gather data: get information
• Step 3. Define the problem: find out what each child wants